My Mr Cruz

My Mr John Cris Cruz... I am in love with him. I am proud to say I am starting to fall deep. Is this the guy I have been waiting for years? Fingers crossed!
Babe, I love you for making me smile everyday. I love my existence now because I know you're there. I love loving you. I love your out of tuned singing. I love every moment with you. I love our dreams, our plans. I love you... I love you my Mr John Cris Cruz.

17 going on 30

Few more months, I will turn 30. Twelve or so years ago, I was 17 and wanted to be 30. 17 going on 30 is what i was wishing for. I wanted to grow old fast, be an adult and call myself a "yuppie". but 9 months to go my teenage wish will be granted. am i looking forward to it? No. I want the days, hours, minutes and seconds to stop. I want the time to just stop. I seriously want it to stop. As I am approaching it, I am wishing to be 17 again and make life easier. Life seems to be so easy when you're young and as we grow older things become pretty complicated. Yes alot of complications i have in my life and I make that complications more complicated. Do i make sense here? I guess not? Im just bored at 29 and don't know what else to write. Im 29 going on 30 in a few months. scary. I will be in the 30's soon. About 300 more sleeps... tick tock tick tock... I have set an alarm on December 15, 2009, I will definitely press the snooze button and go back to sleep. Who wants to celebrate? dont wanna definitely.

homesick..

Two weeks ago.. I was in paradise I call home. I had the time of my life, the best 27 days of my life. I blew my savings on this holiday but who cares I have worked so hard, but here I am back in this place again. cold and wet England. I am alone again. I am away from the place i call paradise. ..

alone and drunk.

Alone and drunk. Bloody hell! I am drunk! Listening to songs on my Ipod and getting high from the House music I am listening to. I dont need any disco pill, I am high and drunk. Fuckin hell. Pathetic isnt it? drinking alone and getting drunk. I am a miserable bored bitch who doesnt know what life will bring her. Im gonna stop caring. I cannot be bothered. i dont give a shit. i dont give a fuck. whatever life brings me. whatever fate leads me. whatever! I am drunk and i dont care. and im not making sense now. so ill stop this blog and finish my drinking. fuckin hell. Cheers!

Lucky

She is one such lucky girl.I don't have a clue who she is, how she looks. I dont know if she is pretty or not but all i know is that she is very lucky. She ended up with a man that will take care and protect her. I wish I am in her shoes. I know there are lots of fish in the sea and that lucky girl got the best catch there is. . Lucky her. and unlucky me...I set that man free. Why did i ever let him go and gave him away. Here I am now.. miserable, forever depressed and unhappy. Loneliness is tearing my soul.. my heart apart. I am living with the memories i have kept in my heart. why did i ever let him go? Why... I am stupid.

Someday....

Few years back, I thought i found the one. Gave him everything, but i lost him.
will i ever find the one someday? will i ever fall in love again? Someday? One day? I am tired of hoping, crying, wishing. will i find someone? someday? is there someone out there for me? someday? will someone love me the way he did? Someday?

Checklist...

My checklist for this year.


My checklist:

Earning my first million: I did, six months ago.
LV bag: In a few months. Not a need really.
Major renovation for moms house: On going
New car for mom: Still saving up for it.
Get my UK Drivers License: I am damn too lazy.
Travel all over europe: Not a priority. but maybe next year.
Expensive watch: I want a Patek, but will i ever afford it.Maybe..
Visit home: Saving for it so i can visit this December again.
iphone 3g: It will come out July 11. Can't wait!
A car for me: I'll buy one as soon as i get my license.
Shoes, shoes, and more shoes: Buy a pair every week. hahaha!
Change my hairstyle: I did last night.
Shed off some weight again: Im still trying.
Be in love again: Fuck it! haha! tired of it!
wedding bells: i think i will never reach that stage. haha!

Anyway, we will see at the end of the year if i have completed my checklist! but i doubt it!