my new life..

Moving here in England has totally changed me. I am more responsible now. I think twice before deciding on some things, weigh it if its any good. I can't afford to mess my life up . I have a nice job. I am financially stable but my life here as a foreigner is very difficult. Blood,sweat and tears i have invested.... It took me awhile to adjust to my new life. No more maids, no more salons, no more thai massages, no more parties. No more easy life for me. It is tough to be in a foreign land.Difficult, hard, strenuous are the best words to describe it. I had my share of being treated as second class, but this made me a more stronger woman, a much sturdy one. It is just so agonizing thinking that I am away from home.. Away from my family, my friends...Away from my comfort zone. Away from the life that I'm used to. I miss my old life. I miss living on the edge. Life then was very exhilarating. It was pretty breathtaking! If you ask me if i want to live that life again.. no is my answer..I don't know if i want to go back to that old life...parties, alcohol, hangovers, bad boys, heartaches. Is it worth it? no.. I am scared to mess it up again... I just miss it but I cant afford to putting my life into shambles over and over again...